Marie Taylor Online

Tinsel, tears and tantrums – Christmas party gets out of hand

At this time of year there are always the inevitable headaches for HR which are not due to them drinking to excess . After a xmas party there will be at leas one phonecall to HR because someone has behaved like a twit and acted inappropriately on a night out on the sauce.

The advice hasn't changed much over the years and I picked the following quick sumary up from Tara Daynes' site and reproduce it here. Tara provides HR services around technical knowledge and employment. You can check out her site at  Tara Daynes HR

Combining staff with free alcohol at the company Christmas bash is often followed by hangovers and embarrassment – but what if the high spirits (and spirits with mixers) lead to something more than just people sitting on the photocopier and pressing the Start button? Can you discipline, or even dismiss, on the basis of poor party behaviour?The answer is yes, as a recent case in Camden has showed. Two teachers were dismissed after a fight at a staff party (see Tara's website for more details). Even out of normal working hours, people are still on company time at an official social event, and are representing the organisation in public. Anything that could bring disrepute to the company, or conduct that would be unacceptable at work (such as aggressive or abusive behaviour, discrimination etc.) is legitimate grounds for disciplinary action.It’s fine to remind staff of this prior to any event – but you don’t want to be the pantomime villain! So remember – don’t overreact to harmless banter or jokes, and make allowances for mitigating circumstances such as too many sweet sherries. But at the same time, don’t excuse the inexcusable or condone inappropriate behaviour! It may be more appropriate to have a quiet but firm word with the culprits on Monday morning. And don’t forget your own behaviour – if you’re a manager, performing the Can Can with your pants off, making a pass at the receptionist then passing out under the table will probably damage your professional credibility or reputation! So have fun at the party, but always remember – like Santa, you’re still at work at Christmas!

So that's Ho Ho Ho but not too muchh he he he folks.

Enjoy!

Mariex

Losing and Living

My very dear friend lost her closest and best friend unexpectedly this week far too young at age of 39.She was also her niece. Like me, she is a young auntie so has nieces and nephews who are very close in age. We have grown up with them as peers and friends and are just as likely to seek their advice and support as give it. Death is awful for families and friends at any age but particularly when there isn't time to say goodbye and relay all those things that we long to say and rarely do.

Like many, I believe that death is just a part of the journey . However when you are grieving it really doesn't feel like that does it? It is painful and leaves us lost and at a loss. Our whole terms of reference in life change and yet-not, because we carry on.Life goes on and fond dear memories of the years passed live on.This is for Jeni and her family.  

Death is nothing at all
I have only slipped away into the next room
I am I and you are you
Whatever we were to each other
That we are still
Call me by my old familiar name
Speak to me in the easy way you always used
Put no difference into your tone
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow
Laugh as we always laughed
At the little jokes we always enjoyed together
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was
Let it be spoken without effort
Without the ghost of a shadow in it
Life means all that it ever meant
It is the same as it ever was
There is absolute unbroken continuity
What is death but a negligible accident?
Why should I be out of mind
Because I am out of sight?
I am waiting for you for an interval
Somewhere very near
Just around the corner
All is well.
Nothing is past; nothing is lost
One brief moment and all will be as it was before
How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again!

Canon Henry Scott-Holland, 1847-1918, Canon of St Paul's Cathedral


Love
Mariex

Success Factor

I've decided to ask Simon Cowell to do a new version of the X Factor . It will be called the success factor.

The contestants are all unknown members of the public who are nominated by those who know them because they are; Great managers, unsung heroines and hero professionals, the person who grafts away to get stuff done, the one who takes a real pride in customer service (i'm sure thee's more than one), the ones creating little successes which with have huge positive impact later on.

Organisations are full of these people.Let's start celebrating success! I am sick of hearing whingers and moaners going on about the state of work, their boss, their hours, their pay- whatever. Lets root out those people who are out there making the world spin with positive, old fashioned work.Those who work with a smile, who can count more work hours than moaning and tea break chat hours.

I shall be on the panel of course wearing a sparkly number. Who else shall I ask Simon to anoint and appoint? 

I think it might have to be George Clooney we'll need something to pull the crowds in who has looks AND brains. I might have to take him out to dinner to stop him being bored to death by Simon- several times in fact. 

Who would you nominate as a success factor candidate?

Who would vote for you?

Who would be your Jedward. Your Susan Boyle? Your Leona Lewis?

Off to phone king Cowell. I'll let you know how I get on.

Marie x

Career Success Story Inspires a room

EVERYWOMAN conference was just GREAT yesterday. I met up with some old friends and made some new ones and that's always a treat isn't it.Women are racing ahead creating businesses in the crunch it seems. Responding to new opportunities and getting out there, creating roads to success- fabulous.
Allegra Mcevedy  was an absolute star keynote speaker. Culinary genius with soul, savvy business women and all round good egg (excuse the pun). She stood on a stage for an hour without power point or dooddads and talked about how "graft is good" . A great example of how a woman with passion for her art of great cooking has developed her career based on what she wants and what feels right rather than what her industry expects.She reminded us about respect at work - treating staff well and walking in their shoes. About building a great team and remembering to be part of it and get involved rather than being a distant figurehead. About doing what feels right to you, and lots more.
She's written some great culinary cookery books and writes her column in the Guardian.She walks her talk and lets the world see her passion through her writing too.

She doesn't like management consultants or coaches much but hey we all have poor experiences of something that puts us off. That said, just because I had a bad piece of fish at a restaurant doesn't
mean I'd discount all fish forever.Maybe she just hasn't met the right ones-yet.

So my challenge to you this week is to ask yourself "Am I doing what I really want in my craft and graft or am I living the career that is expected of me?
Do I know how to be happy in my career?What are the success skills that are going to propel my 2010 career? If you don't, give me a call!

Marie x

Good things happen to those who hustle

I love this quote by Anais Nin. I was reminded of it because I met a hustler a couple of months ago.This one wasn't accosting people outside the Tesco Metro  he was in a suit and had an etonian styled accent. I say styled because you can spot the affected can't you.They're just too posh and have that slight sideways sneer bordering on expressions of sheer anxiety at the possibility of being caught out.

Anyway, lets call him Edward. Ed (although he would never refer to his personage as such- He would if he was really genuinely posh) was trying to sell me some really rather expensive legal IP consultancy for a client I am sorting out a mediation issue for. I challenged him on the value of his offering based on the number of days and the amount of preparation the client would have to do which I thought he could include.

Well I then watched the most egotistical, "I love me" sales pitch and actually heard the following emerge from his manicured mouth "You see you can't buy me cheap Marie for I lay down with Lords on a regular basis. " Part of me thought well good for him and the other part of me thought - I bet they would be delighted to be outed by you -not. Anyway He did so much name dropping and leaning towards me with a come hither look. (He told me he was bisexual) Now remember, I am  looking to buy Legal services here nothing else.

So after a time I gave it to him straight and told him I had no interest in his body or in what he did with it in his leisure time. I was interested in what he could deliver for my client at a reasonable price and that no matter how ,many names he dropped or how much he exaggerated his accent it wasn't going to get him the fee he wanted. Well he looked stunned for about 3 seconds then said in a somerset accent that he was sorry to mess around . That he was expected to behave like that so he did. That he really wanted the work.

I recommended him to my client and it's likely he will get the work.Why?

Because although he's hiding and he's a hustler it's not him really He is very very good at what he does and I guess I wanted him to know that he doesn't need to pretend to be someone he isn't to prove it.

So do us all a favour- Be yourself this week those of you out there pretending to be someone else.

We might just like you as you are!

       

"The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honours the servant and has forgotten the gift."

Albert Einstein

Fame - Is it over rated these days ?

Some people obtain fame, others deserve it (Doris Lessing)Being famous used to be worthy of something in my book- It used to relate to the achievement of something be it in the arts , politics, or for a particular talent. Contribution related if you like.Nowadays people are more recognisable for the photo of them with the  latest handbag than a major contribution to society. Who cares about  jordan and peter, and paris hotel woman and their facile so called contributions? How many of us can name the top three scientists in the uk who may find a cure for major disease in our lifetime or the campaigner who has made the biggest contribution to changing the law for the benefit of society in this decade? Who is creating new technology that will change our everyday lives like the dishwasher or the ipod? Come on journalists , Tv producers and the like - get a grip. Why are we a nation obsessed by watching reality tv rather than living in reality? Why the proliferation of tv programmes on police action, dodgy dealers and ex convicts? Why is even Radio 4 becoming a station desperate to escalate and exaggerate rather than report? ( Just listen to the news report and see how the reporting of an item gets distorted between the 7 am news and the 5pm news to hear what I mean).Are we forgetting how to value contribution? Are we losing our civility? Answers on a postcard please.  Off to audition for one of those TV makeover programmes, I hear they can rearrange your mind into a negative voyeur of everyone else's life for a fee....

"The happiness of a man in this life does not consist in the absence but in the mastery of his passions."

Alfred Lord Tennyson

Supercoach Academy here I come!

Well. I have just had a brilliant coaching session with supercoach Michael Neill . He is SOOOOO insightful. I've joined his supercoach academy and will be joining him in New York  for 6 weekends plus loads of teleclasses etc in 2010. I can't wait. As a coach, I invest in my own training and personal development for 2 reasons- me and you.And what better reason could there be? I just know that I am going to grow in the quality of my practice and as a person through this training.

How do I know ? Because I know Michael is a great teacher from my reading. I intuitively know he is a great enabler and consummate professional and that he cares about the quality of what he is delivering. I know that I always learn from people who stretch me to think-My brain is aching after the hour with him today.I know that I am going to meet some more great coaches who are attending the academy and that we will learn from each other.SO what's not to know? That's all I need.

What about you? What do you need to know to invest in you? When you make decisions about developing yourself be that buying a book, attending a workshop or some more in depth training.What do you need to know? How do you decide?

Michael and I talked about all sorts of stuff today.One of the most challenging questions that Michael put to me was one derived from the work of Marcus Buckingham  on successful people and the one thing you need to know His question was "Have you figured out yet what it is that you don't like doing and have you stopped doing it"? We talked about the fact that even if you are excellent at something and people love you and want you for it, It doesn't mean you have to keep doing it.

So, what are you doing that you no longer want to do even if you are the best thing since sliced bread at doing it?

I guess the bigger question is WHY?

I'll leave you to ponder and wonder or wander.

mariex

 

In praise of miraculous mothers

Its my mother's anniversary of passing this week. She died a number of years ago when I was a mere teenager (ok nearly 30 years ago) which is a strange time to lose a parent particularly your mum.

Anyway, I always think about her at this time when the nights are drawing in and its a bit dingy. For some reason November reminds me of her wearing a medal for church. A miraculous medal.  She was big on catholicism and Mary's graces were/are passed to those wearing the medal . No idea whether there is a connection with November and the medal in the catholic calender. This has me thinking about grace and what is grace.

The dictionary describes grace as the state of receiving a positive benefit (sometimes one we don't seemingly deserve). It's a greek word meaning "affording joy, pleasure, delight, sweetness, loveliness." From what I remember my mother like many mothers had lots of grace and distributed lots of it too.

I wonder if she wore the medal to receive grace, give grace or what- No idea. It's one of those things that I will probably never know along with lots of other things those of us who have lost significant people will never know about them.  So here's to miraculous mothers with or without medals.If your mother is still around send her some grace today.If she's not, accept some from me- you deserve it you miraculous person you.

Marie x